Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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