she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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