mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
