You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
