i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So. Much. Porn.
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