jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
