Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
