i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
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I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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