all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
