The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
