My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
3 2 1 whiskey
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
