She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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