sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
