I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
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No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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