Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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