I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
