He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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