How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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