Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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