I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
What a dumb baby whore.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
