this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
