On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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