I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
