Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
