So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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