Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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