I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
