There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
