I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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