dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize