oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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