Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just gargled with NyQuil
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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