She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
