Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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