You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
