How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
