We got so high we made milksteak
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
