She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
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It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
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Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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