this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
