idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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