forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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