Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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