fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
