I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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