What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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