I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
