Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
