OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
