Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
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