You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
