my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
