Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
