who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
