just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
