I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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