Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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