I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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