I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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