I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
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I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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