DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
