Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he thought i was a dude.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
