At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize