dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
