just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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