After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
