I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize