smell my finger.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
