why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
did i walk over a car last night?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
