wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
